The golf tournament was this past weekend. It was amazing. More than 200 people showed up to dinner. It raised more than $20,000 net. We are honored and overwhelmed. And donations continue to trickle in. Beyond the fundraising, the love in the room warmed my heart and gives me strength. It is really hard to explain, but this event could have passed for our wedding. People from all arenas of our lives in one beautifully decorated room. Hugs were abound and even a few tears, we felt like we won the lottery, in more ways than one.
So, on Monday, I went to Moores Cancer Care Center with the expectation of receiving chemotherapy only to find out that my platelet count was still too low. We also had an appointment with my doctor where we decided that I would have scans this week to make sure the chemo is working. Chemo just takes so much out of me that we felt it might be worth it to complete the scans before going through another round of the debilitating process. The scan is tomorrow morning.
A good piece of news; my liver chemistry panels are showing improvement. Normal range is 40-135. Mine was 810 in January. On Monday, it was 310. So maybe the chemo is working?
On the flip side, I am having more pain than usual. I think what I thought was nausea is actually pain in my stomach. My right side hurts from my liver and under my arm from the irritated lymph node on my right side. For these reasons, the scans make me nervous. But at least we will know.
And when we do...you better bet I am going to draw from the strength I gained through the golf tournament. See how that works?
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Roller Coaster
This morning I could not even get out of bed to see my kids off to school. A new low.
Ten minutes later, friends were at my door to remind me how much fun we used to have together. Organized the week before, I actually had forgotten that morning, excited as I was to see the girls. Lack of sleep from the night before had overpowered any planned schedule memorized in my head for that day.
The girls left and I went back to sleep. It is the perfect pajama day. The skies are grey; the air outside is cold. I forgot to take my pills or do anything to take care of myself until 11:30. It was almost like I was asleep all morning until then. I got myself some lunch and texted my brother to see if he and Kelly were bringing Jed over for a visit.
They did and I enjoyed their visit very much. Jed, now 13 lbs., smiled at me when I played with him. At three months, he is just starting to grab toys and put them in his mouth. He is "talking" a lot too. Every moment I spend with him is a gift. Every moment I spend with Darin and Kelly is a gift. They go back to Portland on Monday. The thought of them leaving makes me sad but the fact that they visited for such an extended period is truly special.
So now, I am alone again awaiting Madison's return from school. Her smile will brighten the room. Her laugh will make my heart skip a beat. My tiredness will diminish. Steve and Harrison will be home shortly as well. Darin and Kelly may return tonight to eat dinner with us. I hope they do.
Looking forward to the golf tournament this weekend. So much love is being put into its planning and from those who are attending. I am both honored and overwhelmed. Mostly honored. It is sure to be a high point on my weekly emotional roller coaster.
Ten minutes later, friends were at my door to remind me how much fun we used to have together. Organized the week before, I actually had forgotten that morning, excited as I was to see the girls. Lack of sleep from the night before had overpowered any planned schedule memorized in my head for that day.
The girls left and I went back to sleep. It is the perfect pajama day. The skies are grey; the air outside is cold. I forgot to take my pills or do anything to take care of myself until 11:30. It was almost like I was asleep all morning until then. I got myself some lunch and texted my brother to see if he and Kelly were bringing Jed over for a visit.
They did and I enjoyed their visit very much. Jed, now 13 lbs., smiled at me when I played with him. At three months, he is just starting to grab toys and put them in his mouth. He is "talking" a lot too. Every moment I spend with him is a gift. Every moment I spend with Darin and Kelly is a gift. They go back to Portland on Monday. The thought of them leaving makes me sad but the fact that they visited for such an extended period is truly special.
So now, I am alone again awaiting Madison's return from school. Her smile will brighten the room. Her laugh will make my heart skip a beat. My tiredness will diminish. Steve and Harrison will be home shortly as well. Darin and Kelly may return tonight to eat dinner with us. I hope they do.
Looking forward to the golf tournament this weekend. So much love is being put into its planning and from those who are attending. I am both honored and overwhelmed. Mostly honored. It is sure to be a high point on my weekly emotional roller coaster.
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