This morning, I awoke to words raining through my head like a blizzard. Their subtle impressions coaxed me out of bed early for a Saturday.
"I need coffee," I thought.
The stairs leading to the kitchen seemed like a mountain. My body is tired. It has been a busy week and in reflection, a strange week. The news of my immediate supervisor, Chuck Day's resignation from Rady Children's to pursue a much deserved career opportunity had me wearing my emotions on my sleeve all week. My career working for Rady Children's Hospital spans more than 14 years; I have worked and been mentored by this dear man, truly one of the best in his field, for seven.
Through my cancer journey, Chuck had faith in me, in the job I could do; even when my perfectionist self did not. And I am not necessarily talking about the the last year, when I have worked a sporadic schedule. I am talking about the period of time before my diagnosis when I was clearly not working to my full capacity. I knew it. He knew it. We just both hoped it was short-lived. Little did we know that cancer had hijacked my body and slowed my abilities to a stand still.
In addition, while working for Chuck, my writing skills have soared. In fact, when I first started writing in this blog, I like to say that I was "channeling Chuck." I would think to myself, "If Chuck were to edit this, what would he say?"
"Bigger vocabulary" "That is an awfully long sentence, isn't it?" Will is stronger than would." "Use 'over' correctly"(which basically means I use 'more than' a lot). And so much more. Chuck is a relentless editor.
Getting back to my week, I had an appointment with Dr. Sweet on Monday. The appointment was standard follow-up and he did not tell me anything that I did not already know. I am to watch for anything out of the ordinary and report back to him. I laughed nervously when he said, " I do not exactly what that might be." I will see him again in six months.
I also spend a fabulous evening with the Young Survival Coalition, at the SK Sanctuary Spa in La Jolla. Dr. Stephen and Lynn Krant, the spa owners, donated services of the Sanctuary for the evening. I had a luxurious massage and facial. We listened to a great speaker named Stephanie LaRue. Once again, I was reminded that I need to eat right. I was reminded that cancer is an unpredictable animal that pounces when you least expect it. That lurks in the background waiting for its chance to invade. That chemo does not always work. Sometimes, I come away from gatherings with other cancer survivors feeling scared for my future, or lack there of it. Sometimes, I just feel pretty darn lucky. But always, I enjoy being around these incredible women whose personalities light up a room.
So this week has been strange. The highs and lows that I wrote of here were followed by a sequence of other important activities that I will not document but were taxing just the same. Coming into Saturday, I am OK. I would not have changed a thing about this week, outside of maybe my boss leaving. But then again, he deserves more recognition for his numerous, astounding accolades. I am happy that he found just that.