Roller Coaster

This morning I could not even get out of bed to see my kids off to school. A new low.

Ten minutes later, friends were at my door to remind me how much fun we used to have together. Organized the week before, I actually had forgotten that morning, excited as I was to see the girls. Lack of sleep from the night before had overpowered any planned schedule memorized in my head for that day.

The girls left and I went back to sleep. It is the perfect pajama day. The skies are grey; the air outside is cold. I forgot to take my pills or do anything to take care of myself until 11:30. It was almost like I was asleep all morning until then. I got myself some lunch and texted my brother to see if he and Kelly were bringing Jed over for a visit.

They did and I enjoyed their visit very much. Jed, now 13 lbs., smiled at me when I played with him. At three months, he is just starting to grab toys and put them in his mouth. He is "talking" a lot too. Every moment I spend with him is a gift. Every moment I spend with Darin and Kelly is a gift. They go back to Portland on Monday. The thought of them leaving makes me sad but the fact that they visited for such an extended period is truly special.

So now, I am alone again awaiting Madison's return from school. Her smile will brighten the room. Her laugh will make my heart skip a beat. My tiredness will diminish. Steve and Harrison will be home shortly as well. Darin and Kelly may return tonight to eat dinner with us. I hope they do.

Looking forward to the golf tournament this weekend. So much love is being put into its planning and from those who are attending. I am both honored and overwhelmed. Mostly honored. It is sure to be a high point on my weekly emotional roller coaster. 

Special Day, Special Friends and a Golf Tournament

Today is my last official day as an employee of Rady Children's. I am trying not to be overly emotional about it. It helps that I had visitors this morning and that I got my laptop back today. It also helps that some very special friends are putting on a golf tournament in my honor on March 10. You see, now that I am not working, I can no longer accept Disability Payments from the State of California. I must now apply for Social Security Disability. I have been told that it can take up to a year to actually start receiving these payments. So what do we do in the meantime? That is a good question. Luckily, my parents have offered to supplement our income and Steve's family is helping a bit too. Plain and simple, especially considering my increased medical expenses, this household can't run on a teacher's salary alone.

This is where the golf tournament comes in too. Especially since it is not tax deductible, I am truly honored by the number of donations that we have received. Many from people we do not even know. I am even more honored by the work of the tournament committee who are sacrificing time out of their already busy schedules to get this done. I feel loved.

On the health front, I had a blood transfusion on Monday to relieve me from anemia. I feel so much better. I no longer get winded walking around my house, there is pep in my voice and I even did some laundry yesterday. The other side, however, is that I have not been able to have chemo for the past two weeks because my platelet count is dangerously low. Dr. Boles says not to worry and that my blood chemistry appears to show that my liver is functioning a little better than it was before. This is very good news. So, my goal is to have chemo February 13. It will undoubtedly wipe all of my counts out again, bring back my anemia and make me sick. I can handle it, if I know it is working.

All in all, I am really looking forward to the golf tournament, where I will speak and participate where I can. Please check it out using this link, if nothing else just to admire the good work my friends are doing. I take great pride in these friends. They are loved more than they know.