Next time you see me, I may have no hair. The day after my birthday, it started to fall out. I am mostly loosing hair from the front half of my head, which I guess is good because I would hate to be walking around with bald spots that I cannot see. Now that I am loosing my hair again, I start to ponder what it will be like the second time around. Will I go out in public bald? I am not sure if I am that brave. Will I like the hats that I already have, or will I prefer scarves? I am pretty sure that my eyebrows are goners, but will my eyelashes hang on? I do think it is interesting that my hair started to fall out the day after my birthday, like when you are starting to get sick before a big event and your body holds it off until the event is complete. Sure enough, the day after my birthday, my hair filled the comb.
Trying not to focus on my balding head, like a bee to a flower, I am busily extracting pollens of knowledge from many, many fields. First and foremost, I am meeting with my health coach, Tammy, every other week. An interesting lesson this week, we spoke of "primary foods" as not being foods at all, but the energy filling your life through spiritual, family and career activity. The concept brings me back to times where I have been so happily focused on a project that I forget to eat. Or, from the perspective of my children, when all they want to do is play and they "are not hungry." The idea is to fill your life with joy so much so, that food is no longer the focus and the "secondary foods" that feed your body are clean, high energy foods. Not to say that I will never have ice cream again.
I also am slowing adding raw food recipes to my diet and investigating a 10-day detox, called the Green Smoothie Detox. I am finding I have so much to learn in so many respects that it is a bit overwhelming. Tammy keeps reminding me to take one thing at a time and to make it easy. I will get there, I suppose. Many thanks to my friends, Bernadette Miller and Zanetta Heard for the inspiring emails and resources.
I have had Reiki twice from my friend Karen at Home and Soul in El Cajon. (A special thanks to Teri Favro for making this happen and introducing me to Karen!) Both sessions have been very moving to me, helping me to relax in a way not easily explained unless you have had personal experience. I am also receiving Healing Touch weekly, as organized by Cheri Fidler and my colleagues at Rady Children's. Reiki and Healing Touch are very similar. Both are playing a critical role in my ability to focus on healing.
Today, I see Dr. Sweet. I have two more rounds of chemo left (six more sessions). I am enjoying my week break from chemo, immensely. I am tired, and I think the chemo side affect of fatigue is trying to take hold. But I also think that the chemo is working. I have no pain...unless I eat really unhealthy. My liver does not like me very much when I do that. Anyway, I will be interested to see how each healing therapy that I engage will aid me in my recovery from this disease. I know that love heals. I know that food heals. I know that chemo heals. How they work together...well, that is the ultimate science experiment.