Xeloda is Not Finished With Me Yet

Xeloda is not finished with me yet. Although I stopped taking the pill on Tuesday in order to heal from Hand Foot Syndrome, a serious case of nausea started yesterday afternoon. It took me a couple of hours to figure our that the nausea had returned and all night long to start to get "ahead" of the nausea. 

I have a suspicion that I am going to suffer from the dreaded "week three" of Xeloda side affects, as I did with my last dose. From what I have heard, I fear this is a common phenomenon. Time will tell.

Of course, I also spent the weekend putting others' needs above my own. I understand that this is a time where I should be doing the opposite....but when I look back at what I did this weekend, I really would not have had it any other way. My weekend went something like this:

Friday: Together with the Young Survival Coalition, Madison and I dressed as a beauty queens and went to cheer for the Komen for the Cure 3-Day Walkers. I was so proud of my girl. I was equally proud of the 3-Day Walkers, who all walk so maybe my girl will not have to worry about breast cancer. Though, I was tired, I knew that exposing Madison to this environment would help her down the line.

Friday night, I went to my friends Silpada Jewelry Party. I was exhausted but this friend has been very good to me and I wanted to be there for her. Plus, who can resist Silpada jewelry?

Saturday: Harrison had a soccer game; Madison her last gymnastics meet of the season. How could I miss either of those? It gives me great joy to see them smile as their list of accomplishments continues to grow. Proud mommy moments.

Saturday night was my very good friend's 40th Birthday Party. Steve was under the weather, as was I. But, if there is a group of friends to make the effort for, it is this group. They do so much for us; even designating two chairs at the party for me...so I could sit and enjoy the festivities. When I was not sitting in my chairs, I was dancing. I would get short of breath and have to sit down, but it was great fun. Plus I knew it did Steve and my friends good to see me out on that dance floor. They needed that to lift their spirits. Heck, I needed it too.

Sunday: More soccer. The last game of the year was yesterday morning. Our boys took first place for the league. No matter how I was feeling yesterday, I would not have missed seeing the boys rejoice as their victory was declared. Another proud mommy moment.

When we came home, coming down with a raspy cough, Steve took a three hour nap. I needed one too, but I figured, resting on the couch was ample enough for me. Maybe I was wrong.

So thinking about how crummy I felt yesterday afternoon. last night and this morning, I realized that in addition to week three of Xeloda, I have not followed by body's inherent need for extra care all weekend, choosing to take care of others in place of myself.

Or was I?

Cheering for the 3-Day Walkers made my heart flutter. My proud mommy moments did the same. My friend's 40th birthday party gave me a chance to relive the fun times we had with this group in younger years. It gave me a chance to hold my friends close and tell them that I love them. I want them to remember me on that dance floor, living it up, bald head and all. Not that I am planning on going anywhere. But just in case I do....those memories are my gifts to them. Being there are my gifts to them. It is the least I can do.

So is Xeloda finished with me? Maybe not. Chemo drugs tend to have lasting side affects even when you stop taking them. However, I will focus on taking care of me for the next several days and will be all rested up for Thanksgiving by Thursday. Gobble, gobble.

Hand Foot Syndrome

This week, I suffered from Hand Foot Syndrome as a result of my chemo therapy, Xeloda. On Tuesday, Dr. Sweet ordered that I stop taking Xeloda for the time being while my hands and feet heal. While I am not there yet, I suspect in the next couple of days, walking will no longer be painful and I will be able to have full function of all my fingers....at least I hope.

Since this side effect was such a mystery to me and many who I talked to it about, I wanted to post a bit about it here, so as to help diffuse any questions surrounding my current condition.

Hand Foot Syndrome is explained on ChemoCare.com as:

Following administration of chemotherapy, small amounts of drug leak out of very small blood vessels called capillaries in the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.  Exposure of your hands and feet to heat as well as friction on your palms and soles increases the amount of drug in the capillaries and increases the amount of drug leakage.  This leakage of drug results in redness, tenderness, and possibly peeling of the palms and soles.  The redness, also known as palmar-plantar erythema, looks like sunburn.

And I can tell you, it feels like the worst sunburn you ever had in the most moronic locations. My hands hurt, a tightness I have experienced through my many summers growing up as a fair-skinned child playing in the hot, Colorado River sun. My feet were tender to the touch and excruciatingly painful. Walking distance or quickly was out of the question. I also had chills similar to the ones you get when you have a severe sunburn. It has been an awful couple of days. 

Currently, one of my feet is pealing and the other has not reached that point yet. My hands have not started peeling at all. I am not sure that they will. They are still stiff, however. My lifesaver? My good friend Cathy Northcutt brought me cotton gloves and Renew Intensive Skin Therapy Lotion by Melaleuca.* The minute I put it on my hands, it felt like a skin barrier covered my fingertips. I could type without pain. I applied it four times a day to my hands and my feet and that with some Tylenol, ice packs, and even a cold beer can (thanks, Sandra and Sharon!) has me on the mend. Of course, temporarily halting the Xeloda was a big help as well!

I see Dr. Sweet again on 11/22, and my next chemo infusion is 11/28. Technically, this is when I will re-start taking Xeloda in oral form, as well. I am not sure what Dr. Sweet will recommend that I do. While my hands and feet feel better, stopping the Xeloda is a really mixed bag for me. We still do not know if this chemo regimen is working. If it is, do I really want to stop it? I am hoping there is a compromise .... like maybe taking a lower dose of Xeloda? The pain in my liver is gone; this to me means that maybe this regimen is working. Will the pain return in the next two weeks while I am not on chemo?

Dr. Sweet is very pro quality of life. So am I. Right now, I cannot walk my dog and I have not been to yoga all week. This could not be good for my cancer fight either. My last post was about choices and it seems like this post is as well. These are the choices cancer patients face every day--I am not alone in this debate.

Thank you for all your care and concern this week. Your support and kind words have meant very much to me.

*If you would like to know more about Melaleuca, I would be happy to put you in contact with my friend Cathy.