Monday, November 21, 2011

Xeloda is Not Finished With Me Yet

Xeloda is not finished with me yet. Although I stopped taking the pill on Tuesday in order to heal from Hand Foot Syndrome, a serious case of nausea started yesterday afternoon. It took me a couple of hours to figure our that the nausea had returned and all night long to start to get "ahead" of the nausea. 

I have a suspicion that I am going to suffer from the dreaded "week three" of Xeloda side affects, as I did with my last dose. From what I have heard, I fear this is a common phenomenon. Time will tell.

Of course, I also spent the weekend putting others' needs above my own. I understand that this is a time where I should be doing the opposite....but when I look back at what I did this weekend, I really would not have had it any other way. My weekend went something like this:

Friday: Together with the Young Survival Coalition, Madison and I dressed as a beauty queens and went to cheer for the Komen for the Cure 3-Day Walkers. I was so proud of my girl. I was equally proud of the 3-Day Walkers, who all walk so maybe my girl will not have to worry about breast cancer. Though, I was tired, I knew that exposing Madison to this environment would help her down the line.

Friday night, I went to my friends Silpada Jewelry Party. I was exhausted but this friend has been very good to me and I wanted to be there for her. Plus, who can resist Silpada jewelry?

Saturday: Harrison had a soccer game; Madison her last gymnastics meet of the season. How could I miss either of those? It gives me great joy to see them smile as their list of accomplishments continues to grow. Proud mommy moments.

Saturday night was my very good friend's 40th Birthday Party. Steve was under the weather, as was I. But, if there is a group of friends to make the effort for, it is this group. They do so much for us; even designating two chairs at the party for I could sit and enjoy the festivities. When I was not sitting in my chairs, I was dancing. I would get short of breath and have to sit down, but it was great fun. Plus I knew it did Steve and my friends good to see me out on that dance floor. They needed that to lift their spirits. Heck, I needed it too.

Sunday: More soccer. The last game of the year was yesterday morning. Our boys took first place for the league. No matter how I was feeling yesterday, I would not have missed seeing the boys rejoice as their victory was declared. Another proud mommy moment.

When we came home, coming down with a raspy cough, Steve took a three hour nap. I needed one too, but I figured, resting on the couch was ample enough for me. Maybe I was wrong.

So thinking about how crummy I felt yesterday afternoon. last night and this morning, I realized that in addition to week three of Xeloda, I have not followed by body's inherent need for extra care all weekend, choosing to take care of others in place of myself.

Or was I?

Cheering for the 3-Day Walkers made my heart flutter. My proud mommy moments did the same. My friend's 40th birthday party gave me a chance to relive the fun times we had with this group in younger years. It gave me a chance to hold my friends close and tell them that I love them. I want them to remember me on that dance floor, living it up, bald head and all. Not that I am planning on going anywhere. But just in case I do....those memories are my gifts to them. Being there are my gifts to them. It is the least I can do.

So is Xeloda finished with me? Maybe not. Chemo drugs tend to have lasting side affects even when you stop taking them. However, I will focus on taking care of me for the next several days and will be all rested up for Thanksgiving by Thursday. Gobble, gobble.

1 comment:

  1. It sounds like you know just what needs to be done. I'm sorry about the nausea. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Hugs.