Bubbles, bubbles and more bubbles....

Connected through two friends from two completely different areas of my life, I made a new friend yesterday. She also has breast cancer and receives her care from Kaiser. Our stories are very similar and our mentality towards our fight is the same.

Yesterday, on her blog, she posted the following affirmation:

"Focus on what is working in your life, the positive stuff, because that which you focus on and think about the most is actually what manifests in your life."~Dr. Christiane Northrop

When I came down with a fever last night and talked to the nurse in Dr. Sweet's office this morning, I was not feeling so positive. She informed me that my white counts from the blood test that I had this past Saturday were low - 1.5 - by chemo they should be closer to four. The nurse said that I more than likely had a fever because of this low count. This, and the low-grade nature of my fever were pretty strong indicators. The nurse recommended that I stay home, limit visitors and wear a mask to protect myself.

Frustrated by my sickness and not being able to return to work today as originally planned, my post on Facebook this morning damned my white blood cells. I should not have done that. All in all, I am handling chemo well. I am strong. I came through the Holidays OK. White counts naturally take time to build back up. The fact that I got a fever...well, that basically means I am not Super Woman. Not today, anyway.

In response to my Facebook post, my new friend responded that I should visualize my white blood cells growing. My friend Carrie gave me the visual of bubbles in a bath tub, multiplying and bubbling over as the water runs. I like this visual.

Dr. Sweet just called. He confirmed what the nurse said and discouraged me from my weekend travel plans for the weekend of January 15 - four days post my January 11 scheduled chemo date. However, he says I am doing just fine and he does not anticipate my symptoms worsening much more through the course of the next four treatments. He just does not want me too far from home and a cruise ship to Mexico is not ideal in his viewpoint...too big of a risk. I can respect that.

I won't say that I am trying to focus on the positive...because as Master Yoda says (one of my favorite quotes of all time), "Try not...do or do not...there is no try." I AM focusing on the positive, heeding Dr. Northrop's advice. Right now, my tub bubbles over.