Yesterday, we learned that my cancer has progressed in my liver and is also confirmed in my lungs. In addition, I have a mass under my arm that we are assuming is a tumor. No need to biopsy, thank goodness. Not such good news.
Holding Steve's hand looking at the scans yesterday, I was overwhelmed. We knew I had two nodules that they were "watching" in my lungs...but to now have 7 or 8 confirms that the two original nodules were cancer. Also, the pain in my side which I originally thought was from my back flap reconstructive surgery was not so much from the surgery but from a new mass residing with my lymph nodes, back where my original cancer was in 2009. I guess now there is no need for me to curse the surgery, as I had been doing from time to time as a result of the constant pain. That tissue is all soft and good.
So, what is the plan? To switch to UCSD. I cannot begin to describe how cared for I felt yesterday by Dr. Sweet as he scrambled to get answers and conversed with Dr. Boles, my new UCSD Oncologist about a plan for my care. We were in his office for an extra 90 minutes....but the outcome was well worth the wait.
One thing Dr. Sweet suggested was some radiation on my side for the pain. As many of you reading this may know, since I already have been radiated on that side, we still are not sure if this can be done. However, if it will get me off some of these pain meds...I am all for it. That appointment is next Wednesday.
I think the most disheartening thing was that we learned that my fatigue is likely disease related, not chemo related. This is really hard to take because I am really tired. Dr. Sweet is going to try to qualify me for a transfusion for my anemia in order to give me more energy for our trip. I hope he can.
Through a message from Dr. Boles through Dr. Sweet, I learned that I am not a candidate for the clinical trial at City of Hope, but my progression will perhaps get me onto the clinical trial that I had been hoping for at UCSD. I see Dr. Boles immediately after my vacation and she asked that I arrive with scans in hand. They have been ordered and ready for pick up.
We are very scared. Yet we know that nothing really has changed. We knew triple-negative breast cancer is quick to spread. We knew that we needed to find a chemo drug that worked. All that has happened is that we have not found a chemo drug that works. We have only tried three. There are more out there. We have hope.
Yesterday is a bit painful for Steve and I to relive. So, I ask that we not receive a lot of questions at this time regarding my treatment. I will try to blog through out the week to keep all updated.
On a positive note, I had a little conversation with my body yesterday and came up with a theme song: "I am a Believer." I think my body needs to know that I believe in it regardless of what the scans show. And there is some deeper logic to this too; so you do not think I am completely crazy. I ask that when you think of me, think of this little jingle please. Maybe I will even try to come up with alternate lyrics for it...just for fun. I have nothing but time, after all.