Today, I worked. Not only did I work, but I worked on five different projects. My hands were full. My brain was racing. I was shuffling papers, analyzing strategy and making recommendations. It felt great. It felt normal.
However, this was my third day in the office. My third eight+ hour day out of my house, with no down time to recover. While once routine, and more at a 10+ hour day, I was exhausted. None the less, thriving on an enhanced sense of accomplishment, I pushed on.
I also visited the hospital today. It gives me a sense of peace to actually step foot on Rady Children's Hospital's main campus. It reminds me why I set out to accomplish my goals at work. It reminds me that I help children, and I feel proud.
My reason for visiting the hospital today was not to give a donor a tour, or to do some research on a new grant project, or even to attend a meeting. My reason for being at the hospital today was for my children to see a child life specialist - a child life specialist who could help evaluate how my children are handling the fact that I have cancer. Heidi did not disappoint. The kids loved her, and it is obvious that children are her passion. Again, I remain grateful for the support of my Rady Children's family.
While at the hospital, I ran into one of my trusted colleagues. She knew I was ill but I had not told her - Rady Children's Hospital grapevine, I suppose. (I do not mind it so much.) We only spoke briefly. However, she had some great words to heed by for difficult situations: "you can either cope or not cope, but not coping is unattractive."
Tomorrow, I will go back to work and hopefully work on five projects at once, make more recommendations and analyze more strategy. And, as I get ready for chemo next week, Steve, the kids and I will continue to cope. It is so much more attractive.