I woke up this morning feeling much the same as yesterday. Lethargic. I slept like a rock last night. Adavan and vicodin did the trick! Because I slept seamlessly, when I woke up lethargic, I was mad. Mad at my body for being so weak. Mad that I still have three more chemo treatments to go. Mad at myself for my last few melancholy entries in my blog.
I got dressed slowly and contemplated my day. As I put on a blue and gray striped beanie, I was reminded of one of my favorite bands of all time, U2. In particular, I thought that my beanie looked like somthing that The Edge would wear and the thought crossed my mind: what would The Edge do? Any U2 fan knows The Edge. He has that tough exterior and talent to rock the U2 stage, but at the same time portrays the gentleness of the U2 ballad. His persona is strong and strength is what I am looking for these days.
I got the kids off to school OK and in doing so, had an idea. If I was not up for going for a walk - the idea really has no appeal to me at all at this point - I still have to move. I cannot imagine that there would be any benefit to the poisons that are diligently working on my cancer sitting sedentary. So, I had the kids turn on the Wii Fit. I started out with the balance games. I have done 15 minutes so far.
After that, I started picking up the front room. The kids' domain has gone unchecked for way too long. I try not to go in there at all, really. But as I want to make the Wii the focus of the rest of my week, I knew I had to carve myself out a spot. Then, it was on to Christmas presents still in the living room. (Yes, there are Christmas presents still in the living room!) I did not get too far with these but still, definitely made progress.
So, now I am tired and am back on the couch but am not as mad anymore. I took back some control. I think that is exactly what The Edge would do - he just has a little more hair sticking out of his beanie than I.